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A Better Way Through Difficult Times
When families face separation, the courtroom shouldn’t be your first port of call, or even your second. As a family lawyer who’s guided hundreds of clients through divorce and parenting disputes, I’ve seen how Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) can potentially transform conflict into resolution while preserving dignity, relationships, and finances.
In today’s overwhelmed courts, ADR isn’t just an alternative; it’s often the wisest first step. Where parties have the means and the will I would always encourage over an overloaded and unpredictable court system.
Why ADR? Beyond the Court Backlog
While media headlines decry England’s strained family courts (with waits of 12–18 months for hearings and last-minute hearing cancellations due to a lack of resources), the real cost isn’t just time or money, it’s also the emotional toll on you and your children.
ADR offers what litigation rarely can:
• Faster resolutions (weeks/months, not years)
• Lower costs (avoiding court fees and endless hearings)
• Control over outcomes (you decide, not a judge)
• Privacy (no public records)
• Often healthier co-parenting relationships
The courts now actively require families to consider ADR first. Here’s how it works:
Your ADR Options – Simplified
1. Mediation: Find Common Ground. A neutral mediator helps you both discuss issues (children, finances, property) face-to-face or separately. Why families choose it:
• Legally required in most cases (via a Mediation, Information, Assessment Meeting) if you want to start court proceedings relating to the children or finances;
• It can help to preserve parenting relationships in a less hostile and more amicable setting.
Mediation can only be realistically used where there is a power imbalance between the parties or claims of domestic abuse are made. When clients reach a full agreement in mediation, parties then must have the agreement checked by lawyers and legally implemented.
2. Collaborative Law: Team-Based Resolution. Each of you hires a specially trained solicitor. You all meet together to negotiate agreements, signing a pledge to avoid court. When can this be helpful:
• You want ongoing legal support but value privacy
• Where complex assets or parenting issues need creative solutions
• Trust is possible, but emotions run high
You have to consider that if talks fail, both solicitors step aside and legally at least, you will have to start with new advisors. So, you need to only consider this route if you’re committed to making it work.
3. Arbitration: Your Private Courtroom. This is where you appoint a legal expert (e.g. a retired judge) to make a legally binding decision on finances or child arrangements. It’s very similar to court proceedings, but both must agree to do it, and you have to pay the Arbitrator’s fees, which are not normally cheap. This can however be very useful for:
• If urgent decisions are needed.
• High-profile clients seeking total confidentiality.
• Technical issues which demand specialist insight with time to properly consider the matter rather than an overworked and time-limited judge.
4. Private FDR: Test-Drive a Court Outcome. A senior barrister gives a Without Prejudice "view" on financial disputes in a private setting – often leading to settlement. Why it can work:
• The timings work better than a court FDR – normally saving 3–6 months.
• The parties will agree the identity of the private judge so they (and their legal teams) will have early confidence that the private judge knows what they are talking about – which isn’t always the case with a randomly selected part-time court judge.
In my experience, this is by far the most common method of case settlement.
5. Early Neutral Evaluation (ENE): Fast Reality Check. A neutral and objective legal expert assesses your case’s strengths/weaknesses early on. It’s non-binding but it provides an early indication of settlement parameters and can therefore save a huge amount of legal fees and time. It’s useful for:
• Breaking deadlocks (especially on specific/key points) before positions harden on both sides.
• Cost-effective insight on complex issues which can become expensive to resolve later in the proceedings.
6. Roundtable Meetings. This is where the parties and their lawyers will literally sit in a room for a number of hours and try and reach an agreement. The writer has a 100% success rate in reaching agreement at roundtable meetings (including where we have had more than one in a case). The statistic can be misleading because you always pre-select which cases are suitable for such an option i.e. both parties have to be satisfied with the disclosure of the other and both have to feel the other is reasonable enough to be able to negotiate with.
The Truth Few Lawyers Admit
After 25 years guiding families, I’ve seen court leave deep scars. ADR isn’t about avoiding justice, it’s about choosing “resolution without devastation”.
You deserve an outcome that protects:
• Your child’s well-being
• Your financial stability
• Your emotional resilience
If your situation allows it, ADR is how we achieve that together.
Your Next Step
Ask yourself if a kinder, faster process work for my family? If you want to consider options, please do get in touch with Aziz Malik at Bexley Beaumont.
If you would like to discuss any of the above further, please contact Aziz: azizmalik@bexleybeaumont.com | 07966 375115
